Salvation and Devotion
by rburch
Summary: Third in my series of post HBP monologues, this one follows Hermione's thoughts as she remembers what has come before, and predicts what is yet to come. Short, about 800 words. As always, feel free to tell me what you think.


**Salvation and Devotion**

My first weeks at Hogwarts were Hell,

I gave up everything I knew, everyone who knew me.

I chose to leave them; I buried myself in my new world,

And my talent bloomed, but I had no friends.

In class I was the best, outside of class I was ignored.

The more I tried to force my way into your circles,

The more I was pushed out.

I told myself to keep trying; to be so good you couldn't ignore me,

And you despised me.

I don't mean you personally, I mean you plural, you as everyone else but me.

I hated the life I had, but I had no clue how to fix it,

I knew what was wrong, but couldn't make it better,

The things that should have worked didn't.

I began to lose hope; I wanted to leave,

I wanted to never see any of it again; but I didn't want to go home,

I had opened the door to a whole new incredible world, and I couldn't go back.

I couldn't be content in my old life, but I couldn't handle my new one either.

I was alone, and I hated it,

I don't know what would have happened, but I know I couldn't have lasted like that.

Myrtle was drawn to me; she saw the similarities between our situations,

Both disliked by our classmates, both with no one to turn to.

I was lost and broken when the It came, fear and despair were my only emotions.

I knew it was over, I knew I was about to join Myrtle in her bathroom,

But you came, you risked everything to save me, and against all odds you succeeded.

And I wasn't alone anymore; I wasn't Myrtle.

We made a perfect team; my logic and memory gave us the information we needed,

Your passion, your willingness to give everything to stop evil, gave us drive,

And Ron's loyalty held us together, showed us what was important.

But in the end you had to go it alone, and my only desire was to be with you,

I had been alone, I had felt that despair, I gave what I could, and waited.

My heart didn't beat until you were back, until you were safe.

Years past, we risked our lives countless times,

And each time I had to leave you,

Each time you were alone during your greatest challenge.

You fought his monster alone; help came when it was most needed,

But your actions decided the outcome,

You struck the blow that saved an innocent life.

The next year, you carried the greatest burden,

At times my desire to keep you safe made it harder,

I wish it had been different, but I would do it again.

Once again we faced a grave threat, once again I was at your side,

But at the end, you drove off the darkness alone; I contributed some jewelry.

The team split, I couldn't fix it.

You faced grave challenges; all I could do was watch.

You saw death, faced it alone and outnumbered, you survived against all odds,

And they turned a blind eye.

You faced a year of slander and hate, of insults and torture.

I did what I could to aid your burden; I walked beside you into danger,

But I was unable to reach the end, my body gave out, and you were forced to fight alone.

You lost more than I could imagine on that night, and your burden became heavier.

You revealed the truth to the world, and learned the truth about your destiny.

They gave no apology; they wanted only to use you,

You gave them your answer.

We all found love, and enjoyed a brief moment of peace,

But you lost your greatest hero, and fear of more loss made you turn from it.

You wanted to go on alone, but we told you different.

Ron and I may love each other, but we love you as well,

You've been forced to face evil alone before, but this time you won't.

I will not leave your side, and if my death is required I will give it with joy.

You are my friend, my brother; you saved me from myself.

Ron will be with us; he won't stay behind.

Even if you leave her, Ginny will follow,

She loves you; you love her,

Dumbledore said love is your greatest weapon,

How can it help you if you throw it away?

Your love has saved us all, let ours save you.


End file.
